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What is the most annoying terms you heard from your clients?

I heard these many times:  " Do your magic" and " It shouldn't take long to do it, right?" ...

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I'm more annoyed by people that gawk at my prices when I know I'm priced competitively. Otherwise, I am very up-front with clients and that is really my competitive advantage. I don't make promises that I can't keep and I am very forward with work and estimated time frames. I have never missed a deadline - clients love it.

"How hard can it be?" is one of my favorites. I always want to answer: "Hard enough that you're willing to pay someone to do it."

"i need to pay you?" lol

"it's something simple (so it should be free)".

After seeing a digital illustration:

"So, can you like...paint for real?"

lol what? never heard that one... *facepalm*

"We're friends now so can I get this for free?" 

Or, "You will get enough exposure, and tons of jobs will come to you "!!!

Hey, isn't that the same with what clients say when they ask for spec work? Hehehe! In my case, the most annoying thing I have heard would be “I need this to be done by tomorrow morning” after giving the project at nine in the evening.

"Can you make this logo bigger?"

Worst one I have ever had-"Can you have it done by next week?"

That is very true. I have a few clients that they had enough time!! Rest of them, all wait till last minutes or they think design is just a push of button

Most of the clients that I encounter don't mean any harm.  Some clients don't understand what it takes to design some of their projects and don't understand the terminology. That's why they are doing business with me instead of doing it themselves. Sometimes they try to do it themselves, decide that they actually need to consult a professional, and come to me. It's like if I need someone to build me a house, I know that I'm going to throw out some terms that are annoying to contractors/builders. It's business.

Since that is out of the way, let's get to some scenarios that I've heard over the years :o)

Me: "What kind of file are we working from here?"
Client: "It's a Publisher file."

--

Client: "Can you blow it up?" (meaning enlarge)
Me: (inner monologue) "Sure let me get my dynamite?"

--

Client: "It shouldn't take you that long. I mean it's just a enter project here."

--

Client (Bride): "OMG I love these invitations! I can't believe you read my mind (cries/tears of joy)"
(Months Later/One Week Before the Wedding)
Client (Bride): "Well I have decided that I hate the invitations..."

--
Me: "Alrighty, so when do you need this by?"
Client: "Yesterday (chuckles, but only half-kidding), in all seriously though, I need it done ASAP, preferably today"

--

(After getting a big order, like 10,000 of something)
Client: "Oh! You misspelled 'simply'"
(Me freaking out)
Client: "(chuckles)...jjjuuuust kidding"

This one gets my heart going, I guess it's bittersweet.

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